


Jubilation

by LieutBridge



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Blood and Gore, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fights, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Force-Sensitive Reader, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Description, Hurt, Jealous Kylo Ren, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Light Dom/sub, Military, Minor Character Death, Murder, Not Beta Read, Original Character Death(s), Possessive Behavior, Prisoner of War, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Soft Kylo, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25728478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieutBridge/pseuds/LieutBridge
Summary: The New Republic was your life, you gave it everything you had. You joined the military and years later became a high-ranking armorer. You created and built weapons for the Republic Military to aid in the fight against The First Order, until one day you discover something dark and evil, causing you to go against the Republic, becoming a war criminal.You leave your life behind to go on the run with your dog and best friend. You design and build weapons to sell on the black market until one day your ship is captured by the First Order.You're taken as a prisoner of war to create weapons for the Knights of Ren, but what happens when feelings get involved and you befriend the dark and mysterious Kylo Ren.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing a fic for AO3. Please let me know what you think!

All you could hear were the alarms, blaring and blinking red throughout the small ship. You had been thrown off the pilots chair when your ship was hit. There was debris everywhere, shelves knocked loose and tools strewn across the floor. You could hear someone calling your name from the back of the ship, they were coming closer, their steps heavy but quick.

You looked up to see Benji, his brown curls and tan skin soaked and his boots untied. You remembered that he’d been taking a shower. He stumbled next to you and bent down.

“Are you okay? What the hell was that?” You feel yourself being dragged to your feet.

“I have no idea-“ The ship jolts again with a bang, you and Benji stumble to the side falling into each other. You turn towards the pilots seat, trying to catch a reading off the screen that laid before it. There were error messages, emergencies codes, and lights blinking across the control board. You go to sit when a third hit rocks the ship, you grab onto the chair as you feel the ship try to right itself again.

Benji is running to the back of the ship, calling out to your dog, Maximus. You finally take a seat and begin assessing the damage and trying to find the source of the attacks. On the map you see the culprit, a small dot on the screen blinking up at you. Whatever it was, was getting closer and closer.

Your ship still has navigation abilities and can move, not very fast, but it can move. You knew you wouldn’t be able to get away from whatever it was, but you’d be damned if you weren’t going out with a fight. You turned your ship towards the offender, checking your ships defenses as you moved.

You hear a gasp behind you, Benji’s there with Maximus and they’re both staring out the pilot window. Benji’s face contorts in fear and you heart sinks as you turn to look out the window with them.

The Imperial II.

You knew it the moment you laid eyes upon it. You’d heard rumors of it making its way across the galaxy, its inhabitants destroying villages and cities alike. You and your tiny ship somehow got lucky enough to cross its path and now it was going to take you out.

Another jolt ran through the ship but this time it wasn’t another shot, instead it felt like an invisible hand had grabbed hold of the ship and was now dragging you towards the doom machine in front of you.

“What the fuck is going on?” You turn towards Benji and Maximus, accessing the condition of your friends. Maximus appeared shaken up, but he was an ex-military hound, he knew how to stand his ground in these situations. Turning back to face the window, a panel on the underside of the ship opens, displaying a docking bay.

“It looks like they’re bringing us aboard.” You hear Benji say behind you.

***** 

“You know, I typically prefer a drink first before I get manhandled like this.” You tell the guard to your right. You’re being dragged down identical hallways, pass rooms with identical doors, the only change in atmosphere being the numbers that display themselves atop each room.

Finally the stormtroopers stop in front of a room labeled 312 and you’re dragged inside. They force you into a chair, strapping your arms and legs to the seat. When they finish they begin to walk out without a word. 

“Wait a minute, what’s going on? Why did you bring me here?” But without even a pause the guards left, the slam of the door the only answer to your inquiry.

The room was small, painted a dull grey with a table in the middle of it. You sat on one side while an empty chair sat on the other. It hit you then what this room was…an interrogation room, a first order-interrogation room.

You’re heart sinks when the realizations hits. You’d heard the unimaginable stories told by those who lost friends to these rooms. The First Order was ruthless and careless of its inmates, once it got what it needed you were wiped out.

You could feel tears well up in your eyes; the thought of losing everything was overwhelming in this moment. Where was Benji? Maxiumus? Were they dead already?

What were you even here for? What questions would they have?

Before you could spiral anymore you hear footsteps land in front of the door. Your heart begins to race as you hear the code to the room being entered and the metallic grind of the locks releasing. Quickly you look down, not wanting to face the threat yet.

The footsteps approach you, the door closing behind them with a loud clang. The person sits across the table from you.

You hear a throat clear and then- “I think this would go much smoother if you looked at me.”

Slowly your gaze rose to the man in front of you, observing him. His hair was a fire red, his back impeccably straight and his mouth twisted sour. That last part you suspected was a frequent part of his expression.

“What do you want from me?”

He smirks. “Not even a hello? Would you like to even know my name?”

“No.” You nearly spit the word at him.

“I guess government officials of The New Republic don’t pride themselves on being very…well-mannered.”

You blinked at him in shock. He knew who you were and he knew where you came from. Your position within the government of The New Republic was a private one, a secret from all except those on top. At the time not even Benji really knew what you did.

“You’re surprised.” It wasn’t a question so you didn’t deem it an answer. “You may not know who I am, but I know that _you_ know where you are and you know who _we_ are.”

The “we” meaning him and the people who worked on this vessel. You knew exactly who they were and how fucked you were, he didn’t need to remind you.

“Now with that background understanding, then you must know just how far our reach goes. We know nearly everything about you. From the junior high you attended to the tragic passing of your mother.”

You don’t let the words phase you, instead you sit up straighter, looking him in the eye.

“What. Do. You. Want?”

“Ah I guess small talk isn’t really your thing is it?” Again you say nothing, waiting for him to get to the point.

“Alright, lets cut to the chase shall we? You’ve got a skillset that we want to harness. Your craftsmanship speaks volumes of your talent and we want it.”

“My weapons.”

He smiles and taps a finger on the table, clearly waiting for you to say more.

“I don’t have any, the latest batch was sold at a dock on Kamino.”

He scoffs at you, even laughing a little before replying. “We don’t want those unreliable pieces of junk you sell on the black market. Although impressive, we both know with the lack of materials and gear, those “weapons” will blow out after a weeks-worth of use.”

He was right.

“No, we want _you_ to create weapons for _us_.”

You pause in shock, wondering if you’d heard him correctly. You feel your head start to shake no before he spoke up again.

“You understand that this isn’t something you can negotiate.”

You both stared at each other for what seemed to be forever but was probably only a couple seconds, until it dawned on you.

You never had to deal directly with the war that went on between the First Order and the Resistance but you knew The New Republic backed the small rebel fighters that went against the monster that was the Dark Side.

“You want me to build you weapons to help you defeat the Resistance.”

It wasn’t a question so he didn’t reply either. Instead he smiled a bland smile and rose to his feet. He began to walk back to the door but not before turning to you.

“I’m glad we could have this talk, guards will be sent to you shortly to escort you to your room where you will be staying for the time being.”

 _…for the time being_.

You knew what he meant. They weren’t planning on keeping you, instead choosing to dispose of you once you had filled your purpose.

*****

You don’t know when you’d fallen asleep but your awoken by the sound of the door sliding open and two guards walking in. They begin to undo the straps holding you to the chair and stand you up. Your legs felt like jelly after having sat for so long, but your needing the guards to walk didn’t seem to faze them.

They dragged you down corridors and hallways, until reaching an elevator that took you up, up, up until you reach an equally grey floor filled with more rooms behind closed doors. The rooms were more spaced out and the hallways were larger.

There were small windows spaced out along the walls overlooking the vastness that was space. You don’t know how far you are from where they captured you but you assumed the ship had moved away from it long ago.

The guards take you to a room at the end of one of the hallways. They key in a code and the door slides open to reveal a small bedroom. There’s a bed in the corner, a desk at the other end and a closet. You see another door, to which you assume is a bathroom.

“This will be your quarters for the duration of your stay, food will be brought to you morning, noon and evening. If you have any questions or updates on your assignment, you can reach your superiors via this datapad.”

The guard not speaking hands you a slim tablet, clearly state-of-the-art and created by the First Order themselves. He hands you a charger next and points to the tablet in your hand. “On the datapad you will find everything you need to get started with your assignment. Your next meal will be brought by shortly.”

Your _next_ meal? As if you’d been fed since they captured you.

But now that you think about it, your stomach _was_ aching. When’s the last time you even had a glass of water?

The guards turn to leave and you can hear a lock being set on the outside of the door. So much for this being a bedroom, it was more like a glorified prison cell than anything else.

You turn the tablet on as you walk to the bathroom, setting it on the sink counter. The bathroom consisted of a small shower, a small sink , a small toilet and a mirror that reflected a very tired woman. You rub your hands over your face and sigh.

What the hell is going on? How did they know who you were or where to find you?

But you couldn’t worry about that now, there was a more pressing matters at hand. You needed to find where Benji and Maximus were.

With a roll of your shoulder and a shake of your head, you picked up the pad and got to work. The stupid tablet had to have someway of logging into the main system so you could find out where your friends were being held.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the past, the beginning of why you decided to leave The Republic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to put this out, the chapter kind of got away from me and I couldn't stop writing!

Lieutenant.

That was the highest rank you’d earned before you were yanked from the military and placed into a position working directly with the New Republic government. One day you were waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to run drills and the next you were reporting to the Secretary of State.

You’d joined the military as soon as you turned 18 after your mother was diagnosed with cancer. She couldn’t work and you needed money to pay for her treatments, so the choice to join was a no-brainer. It wasn’t the worse decision, they paid you decently and you mostly just stayed on base or did routine patrols.

It wasn’t until you got moved to the weaponry department that you started to have some fun. They’d moved you there to be an assistant to some of the engineers. You loved it there, you were able to see how everything was created, from the initial designs to the integrity testing.

Soon you became an apprentice to the head engineer, Rebekah. She was a larger woman, standing at 6 feet with red hair that curled and waved down her back. She had a thick accent and she smelled like tobacco and hot iron. But she was sweet in her own way, bringing you leftover food she’d made when she thought you weren’t eating enough, asking after your mother and even sending her care packages.

She taught you everything she knew and then some. Then one day she pulled you to the side and told you about a mission she was going on for research and asked you to come with her as her research partner.

Unbeknownst to you, that mission would be the beginning of a blossoming career as head Armorer for the New Republic. Rebekah was proud of you and urged you to take the position when it came around. You had offered it to her first but she claimed she was too old and too tired to take the position.

A few weeks in and you were leading missions all across the galaxy, discovering new methods of weapon design from natives in far off planets and uncovering new minerals that could be used to create stronger artillery.

Unfortunately things don’t always stay good and a year into your new career you hit an…obstacle.

You were leading a routine mission on a planet called Oberon when your team discovered a substance that you named Demolite. The substance was a sticky goo that stuck to whatever it touched. It moved and covered everything around it and the more of it there was the more it crawled to cover every surface.

You brought it back to the ship and immediately began to experiment with it, your initial tests and mixtures resulted in subpar effects. Nothing interesting happened and the substance almost seemed useless.

That was until you mixed it with Tellurium.

The compound was exciting, dangerous and soon you realized…deadly.

The tellurium allowed the substance to still move like a symbiote and cover every surface but it gave it the ability to dissolve anything it touched. It took no more than a few seconds to eat away at the lab table you were working on and begin to make its way to the floor.

You had run to the emergency lock on the lab door, you couldn’t let this get out to the rest of the ship. One of your assistants was there frantically looking for something to kill the reaction. You turned to yell at him to get away from the compound that was quickly spreading across the room but it was too late, a sliver of the symbiote latched onto his boot and the reaction was immediate.

You can still remember the screams that came from him as he dissolved before your eyes.

You don’t remember much of what happened after that but you know that one of your teammates came bounding into the room to pull you out. She punched in a code on the door, you vaguely remember understanding that she was implementing a freeze of the room. The temperature would rapidly drop below 0 and would freeze everything in its place.

The last thing you remember is being escorted down the hall as the destructive substance slowed to a standstill in the room, the temperature drop having effectively stopped its warpath.

*****

Hours later you were having a meeting with the Secretary of Defense, General Andrews, to explain what had happened.

“So the chemical reaction caused the demolite to mutate and deteriorate… _everything_?” The man looked perplexed, his mustache twitching with undisguised confusion.

“Yes sir.”

“…and it killed Officer Cornett?”

“Yes sir.”

He sat in silence for a moment, clearly contemplating something before finally sitting up straight and looking into the camera. He’d clearly made his mind up on something.

“Your assignment has changed, you and your team will report back to Hosnian Prime immediately with as much demolite as your ship can fit.”

You reared back in shock. “Sir, what do you mean?”

“You heard me. You will report back to the Capital with the substance as quickly as possible. Andrews out.” The screen went black, the only thing left to look at was your sunken eyes and sallow face.

*****

As you traveled back to Hosnian Prime you had more meetings than you could remember. All discussing this new and powerful mineral that could destroy anything. Quite frankly, the conversations were putting you on edge.

You had lost a teammate because of this thing, and it seemed like all anyone could care about was how useful this damn substance was.

It was on the fifth day while speaking to the General Andrews that you realized why they wanted the substance so bad.

“How quickly could we build a device that is able to hold this compound? “ The man sat straight backed and broad shouldered while writing notes on a datapad.

“Well Sir, if I had my entire team on it, I could probably get something together in a couple months.”

He paused. “Months?”

“Yes, months.”

The General shook his head and laid the pad in front of him down.

“What if I need it quicker than that?”

“Quicker? Sir, with all due respect this isn’t just another mineral or element that I can stuff into a gun and hand to a soldier. This… _thing_ is extremely temperamental, with a mind of its own! –“

“Lieutenant–“

“It killed one of my men General.”

He stares at a point above your head in contemplation before finally sighing. He rubs his forehead before finally “We need this done in 3 weeks.”

“ _What—“_

He stops your words with a finger. “We need it Lieutenant, there’s no other way.”

“What are you not telling me General?”

The silence stretched between you for eons before he cleared his throat. "Unfortunately Lieutenant, that is classified information."

"Sir--"

"Enough! You will do as your told and you will get me that weapon by the time 3 weeks is up. That is an order young lady."

You bite your tongue before you can spit something back at him and nod your head before ending the video call without another word.

There was something going on and they were keeping you in the dark about it. One thing you didn’t like were secrets, you refused to work with wool over your head and pretend it was okay. You rose from your desk chair and began to pace the room.

Why three weeks? The expected timespan for the creation of a new weapon was typically 2-4 months at the shortest and General Andrews knew that.

So what’s got his boxers in a bunch? Why was he suddenly requesting a weapon like this on such short notice?

You pick up your datapad from your bedside table and went to the Department of Defense’s calendar. All members were allowed access to the calendar for organization and preparation purposes, you wouldn’t want to schedule a seminar on the war tactics of the Altuu tribe while there was a financial advisory meeting with the higher ups going on.

Scrolling to three weeks ahead you see a highlighted section at the top of Thursday the 26th with the title: MISSION #4402 – DEPARTMENT HEADS ONLY.

When you click into it for more details you receive a blank page with the error message: _Only Authorized Personnel May View This Document._

You didn’t even blink before dialing a number on your computer.

“Why are you calling me this late?” A very tired looking man answered.

“Listen Benji, I need your help.”

*****

Benji was your oldest friend, more like a brother than anything else. He and his family moved to Kepler-452b when he was 15, his mother having been promoted to the Ambassador’s team of researchers.

You were both only children and in that, you bonded. Your mothers were always working and although he actually had a dad, his father wasn’t very present, the man was always traveling to some far-off galaxy to “manage his rental properties”. If you asked me, I think he was just going to see his mistresses.

So it was you who celebrated holidays and anniversaries with him. Your favorite was Diwali, he always loved teasing you for how poorly you did in recreating traditional treats but he ate them anyways and you celebrated the nights away drinking from his moms liquor cabinet.

When you decided to go into the military, he followed suit, not wanting to leave your side. His mother got him a position in administration while you were pushed off into grunt work and combat training. You still saw each other during mealtimes and afterhour bunk visits.

He quickly became a valuable member for the Department of Defense, his mother’s research skills having rubbed off on him, making him a quick learner and an even better advisor. He began attending advisory meetings and eventually became an assistant to a member of the National Security Council.

So when you needed access to a very important, very secret document…you knew who you needed to call.

*****

After you explained what happened with General Andrews and your need for access to the documents, Benji sat there in silence, blinking slowly.

“You think Andrews is up to something?”

“…yes.”

“Listen Bug—” Bug…he’d been calling you that stupid nickname for years, having given it to you after you mistakenly cooked a fly into a batch of gulab jamun. He’d never let you live it down. “I don’t think there’s anything that they’re hiding. He may just be desperate for new weaponry to show congress so he can keep his funding.”

“Ben—”

“Bug, do you really think, out of anybody, **_I_** wouldn’t know what’s going on?”

“If they really wanted to keep it a secret? Then yeah, I don’t think they’d let you in on their plan.”

He laughed and rubbed a hand over his face.

“I really don’t think so.”

“Then humor me.”

“Humor you?”

“Yeah, give me temporary access. If it’s true that they’re up to nothing then you were right and I won’t ask you for something like this again.”

Benji rolled his eyes. “You won’t let me sleep until I do this for you, will you?”

“Nope.”

And with that you had access to the files hidden behind the bigwig’s wall.

*****

You poured over them for hours, and when you were done you threw your pad down and rubbed at your temples. There was a headache threatening to pound its way across your eyes and you dreaded the thought of attempting to sleep with it, but the idea of rising from your seat to grab painkillers felt like the most exhausting thing you could do.

The documents were filled with a bunch of legal and corporate mumbo-jumbo, the lingo purposefully difficult to decipher, but in the end you understood.

In 3 weeks, the Republic was carrying out a diplomatic mission to Yavin, to negotiate a deal with the government to hopefully bring the planet into alliance with the Republic. Partnering with them was crucial, the planet being a main source of naturally occurring oore, a gaseous element that aided in the development of warp speed technology. Securing an allegiance with Yavin would secure a life-long supply of the precious element.

Sounded pretty routine on the surface but about a week ago they received intel from an interplanetary Republic spy that The First Order had visited the planet and offered them a deal to join them. The spy received word that the Prime Minister denied the deal and explained the upcoming talks they had with the Republic. For that, the First Order took his eldest daughter and were holding her captive.

The thing was, the First Order also needed the oore. Although there were other ways to produce warp speed technology, oore allowed for a quick, easy and efficient way to create it. Any person with a brain understands the importance of working smarter not harder in this instance.

The First Order was expecting the Prime Minister to deny the Republic’s treaty and announce Yavin’s allegiance to the First Order in exchange for his daughter. There would be no amount of negotiating that could prevent a father from doing what he had to do to save his daughter. So, the Republic knew that they had no chance of winning this crucial alliance.

So what was the sane thing to do?

The Republic was planning a military coup with Yavin rebels to achieve their mission.

They planned to swarm the government building and hold the Prime Minister hostage while negotiating a new set of terms for an agreement.

The Republic was planning on using the newly discovered Demolite to destroy the planet if the PM refused to agree upon an allegiance to the Republic.

Destroying a planet with such an important resource seemed like the last thing you’d want to do if you wanted to harvest the resource for your own doing. But the Republic had decided that allowing the oore to be easily and readily available to The First Order was too high of a risk.

Their best plan was too harvest what they could while they executed their coup and then the destroy the planet when the Prime Minister ultimately denied their request for renegotiating the terms of agreement.

The plan was sick. It made you sick.

The Republic government, the very people you worked for, were planning on destroying an entire planet, committing mass genocide, just to satisfy a corporate governmental greed.

And you refused to be apart of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll write a chapter on how you escaped the Republic and actually go rogue in a later chapter. But for now this is where we end this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally "meet" Kylo! Although brief, the story finally gets cracking!

It had been three days of lying on your bed fiddling with the data pad before you finally admitted defeat in locating your friends. You had also tried working on ideas for weapons but it was hard to hash out ideas when all you had was a 7x7 room with a desk that reminded you of your time in elementary school.

You finally sighed and tapped open the messaging app that was installed on the device. Your only contacts being General Hux and an emergency line.

You quickly typed out a message to Hux.

_We need to talk_

It was only a moment before-

_Talk? It was my impression that you understood your assignment, what else is there to speak about? –A.H._

And then-

_And I don’t have time for small talk, if it’s a friend you’re looking for, you will be sorely heartbroken over any attempt with me. – A.H._

You huffed out a laugh. As if you’d try to strike up a friendship with the flaming headed menace.

_Fortunately for you, I am not attempting to form a relationship of any kind with you. I actually need to speak with you about the assignment._

You see the dots that indicate he’s writing back.

_Go on. – A.H._

_I can’t work in these conditions._ You hold your breath and press send. When he doesn’t reply back, you continue.

_I need more space. I need a proper workspace with lighting and tools and an actual notepad. I can’t work off of this stupid tablet. If you want me to work for you then you need to work with me here._

You pause before adding:

_And I need to see my friends._

You can see him typing and erasing his reply. After an hour you think he’s decided to leave you on read when you hear a ping come from the device.

_Someone will escort you to your new workspace tomorrow morning. Your friends will be awaiting you there. – A.H._

You jump up with a squeal and punch the air above you.

Benji and Maximus were okay! You were going to see them tomorrow and you’ll finally be in larger, better equipped work area. Your situation was crap but this little moment of excitement was a welcome reprieve from the constant worry.

* * *

The next morning you’re awoken to pounding on your room door and two guards barging in barking commands at you. You’d barely put on a fresh pair of pants and brushed your teeth before they were pulling you out the door and down the hall.

“ _Jesus_ , slow down! I’ve only got two feet here.” But not a word was said back to you as you were manhandled through corridors and into an elevator that took you up 7 floors before opening up to a spacious floor with observation windows running along one side of the hall and rooms along the other.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say the guards were nervous, as if they were rushing so they could get as far away from this area as soon as they could. They practically ran with you down the hall before you hear a loud crash and screams.

The guards stop, jerking you back with them.

Another crash, followed by a sickening crunch and another blood-curdling scream. The noises are coming from an adjacent hallway up ahead.

You realize the guards are whispering to one another frantically.

“This is why I didn’t want to take the prisoner, why couldn’t Sam do it?”

“Because Sam took one for the team when you chickened out last week.”

“Rob—”

“Shut up, lets just get this over with. The room we’re bringing her too is just past this hallway.”

The begin walking and there’s another crash and what sounded like metal bending, an awful screeching noise that split your head. You can feel yourself get clammy with sweat as you near the hall, your brain screaming at you to run. Your instincts tell you to get away as fast as you can.

You close your eyes as the three of you take the final step that would reveal you to whatever monster was causing havoc.

Your breath shallows and it feels like everything is in slow motion before you hear it…

_ \--Stupid **girl**. She thinks she’s so damn powerful, thinking **she** actually has the capability to fucking fight **me** — _

Your eyes shoot open as your head jerks to the side. Those words weren’t said aloud…you weren’t hearing them through your ears.

You could hear it in your mind.

There, down the hall, was the monster whose thoughts were being broadcast through your brain. A man standing well over 6 feet and surrounded by carnage. Bloody bodies of stormtroopers were strewn across the floor and the walls around him caved in and mutilated beyond belief. He’s holding a lightsaber, red and glowing with a sound of pure darkness radiating from it.

 _What the fuck…_ is all you could think before the mans head shot up and stared at you through his mask, his chest heaving, his boots covered in blood. But before you could think anything else you were already being ushered quickly past and further down the hallway.

You’re taken to a room with frosted glass doors and keypad. They took care not to let you see what the code to the doors were before pushing you inside and locking the door behind you. You could hear them scamper away, leaving you alone with fluorescent lights and linoleum floors.

Who would’ve thought the First Order could design a space that wasn’t black or grey.

Normally you turn back to make a snide comment about their hostile treatment of you but you didn’t have it in you to say a word. Your shock at what had just happened too palpable to do anything but sink to the floor and stare at the tiles.

What the hell had just happened?

You heard him, that ~~man~~ _murderer._ Clear as day, you heard him in your head.

Clearly the shock of it all was shared between the two of you if his reaction was anything to go by.

So he hadn’t expected to hear you in _his_ head either.

How was that possible? It didn’t make any sense.

Before you could dwell on it any further, you hear the door swish open behind you and the familiar huffing breath of –

“Maximus!”

The hound charged forward and tackled you where you sat on the floor, his brown fur blocking your view of the man standing a few feet from you. 

“Well well well, we finally get to see the Allstar prisoner in the flesh.”

You roll up from the floor and launch yourself at the man to your left, Benji. He huffs a laugh and hugs you tight, his long hair tangling in your fingers as you squeeze him back. You take a step back to assess him.

His facial hair has grown out, making him look tired and haggard. His eyes puffy like he hadn’t been sleeping and he looked thinner than you remember.

“What’d they do to you Benji?” The worry in your voice making his bright smile waver.

He sighs before answering. “Let’s just say, its been a long week.”

“Have they been feeding you? Where are you sleeping?” You drag him to one of the worktables and sit him down.

“Yeah yeah, they’ve been feeding me-” he points to Maximus. “And him too. But I’m a little too on edge to really eat much.” He looks at you anxiously, clearly he’d been worrying about you.

“They kind of kept me in the dark, after a couple days of vague half-answered questions from the guards I just assumed…”

“You assumed I was dead.”

“Or hurt at least.” He pauses. “Hurt enough that you hadn’t come to find us yet. Try to escape.”

“Oh don’t think I didn’t try. They’ve got this placed locked up better than ancient Guantanamo.”

He laughs and squeezes your arm, although worse for wear, he was still chipper and all smiles like he usually was.

You both sat and talked for a while, you telling him about your First Order “assignment” and he relays his time stuck in his room with Maximus. After a while you began working and he was there to help where he could and keep you company.

A little after noon they brought you lunch and you took another break to talk and you finally tell him what happened with the murderous giant you met on your way to the labs that morning.

“Wait wait, he was just standing there?!”  
  


“Yeah, the whole hallway was a mess! Saber burns everywhere, dents in the floor and like five or six Storm troopers _dead._ ” He looks like he’s going to burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all when his face goes cold.

“Wait…saber marks?”

“Yeah, dude was wielding a fucking lightsaber! Actually a pretty nice design if you ask me, had a cool crossguard thing –“

“Bug.” Benji looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“What?”

“The guy had a crossguarded lightsaber?”

“…Yeah, I don’t understand—”

“Bug, that was Kylo fucking Ren.”

* * *

Kylo Ren.

It had been an infamous name across the galaxy for some time now. You remember hearing stories of the horrors that followed him. Some knew him as just Snoke’s apprentice, but most knew him as the Monster of the First Order.

A beast of his own kind.

There weren’t many detailed stories of the man, like what he looked like or how he sounded. Almost everyone who got that close to the madman had died by his hand.

The information out there was sparse, but terrifying, nonetheless.

“How do you know?!”

Benji looked frazzled, like he might pull his hair out at any moment. “The Defense Council had been tracking the dude since he first appeared at the Massacre of Mowabee. I’ve been in countless meetings about the guy.”

“But how do you know _that_ was _him_?” You urged.

“His saber. Currently he’s the only one in the First Order with a crossguarded lightsaber. You of all people should know how rare those are.”

You rubbed at your temple, trying to ease the pressure that was building there from the stress.

Kylo Ren. Kylo the Killer. The monster that hid under the galaxy’s bed. Was the same man whose thoughts were just broadcast into your head earlier that morning.

You must have looked stricken because Benji placed a soothing hand on your shoulder and spoke softly. “Listen, nothing’s gonna happen to you. You did nothing and he has no reason to hurt you if you haven’t done anything.” 

If only Benji knew the full story, he’d be running for the hills with you.

* * *

You finished your day in the lab in relative silence, him reviewing your schematics and you tinkering away at mock ups of your designs. You assumed Benji was giving you space, probably thinking the whole Kylo Ren thing had freaked you out.

In reality you were intrigued, curious even.

That afternoon the guards brought you back to your room, the infamous hallway having been cleaned up and mostly fixed. No evidence to suggest anything serious had happened that day.

At night when you were lying in bed you mulled over the events, wondering just how it was possible to have heard him. You fell asleep with the determination to get to the bottom of this, it was too precious of a situation to let go.

Soon you would contact General Hux for a meeting, try to convince him to let you meet the infamous Kylo Ren.

You _would_ get to the bottom of this.

Little did you know, you wouldn’t have to wait that long… 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supreme Leader Snoke requests a meeting with you, could things be getting more complicated than they already are?

It was a couple days before you finally figured out how you were going to get Hux into a meeting with Kylo Ren. You had a plan all flushed out and the next morning you would contact Hux to begin the ordeal.

You’re getting ready for bed when you hear a ping come from your datapad. With your toothbrush hanging from your mouth, you pick up the device and see a notification blinking across the screen.

**New Message From: Armitage Hux**

You blinked in surprise and opened the message.

_Your schedule for tomorrow has changed. Supreme Leader Snoke has requested a meeting with you. You will be escorted to the upper levels at 8AM sharp. Do not sleep in. – A.H._

If it wasn’t for the drool beginning to collect in your mouth, you would’ve sat there forever just digesting what you’d just read. After finishing up in the bathroom, you walk back into your room and sit on your bed.

Why the hell did the Supreme Leader want to see you?

* * *

The room you’re brought to is large, an oblong table stretches across it with high backed chairs and a large screen that stands at the front of the room. Everything shrouded in shades of black, as per usual for the dark side.

General Hux sits at the front, nearest to the screen, and a stormtrooper stands in the far corner. On the screen a grotesque “man” sits and stares at you, his beady little eyes barely blink as they size you up. Supreme Leader Snoke.

“Lieutenant, how are you?” The man doesn’t seem the type to bother with pleasantries but with you he’s clearly making an exception.

“Fine, sir…how are you?” You weren’t sure if he was really looking for small talk but what the hell else were you supposed to say?

“Ah, I’m doing quite well myself. I’m glad you could join us today—“ The door behind you slams open and heavy steps storm into the room.

The devil himself stalks past you and towards the front of the table where the screen sits. He stands with his back stiff and his hands clenched.

“Kylo, welcome.”

The dark knight bows his head in respect, his voice robotic and cold through the modulator. “Supreme Leader.”

You expect him to acknowledge you, but he doesn’t. Instead opting to stand with his back to you, fully facing the screen in front of him.

After the whole “mind-reading” fiasco, you thought he’d at least want to see you. Be just as curious as you were.

You try to see if you could hear anything in your mind like last time, but there was nothing. Just your own thoughts. You’re about to try projecting your thoughts to him when you hear the Supreme leader speak.

“Now that you are all here, I would like to discuss the Lieutenant’s assignment.”

General Hux and Ren looked taken aback, Hux turning his head to you with a sneer.

“Surely you wouldn’t need me here for that sir.” You hear Ren say.

Snoke holds up a hand, a gesture to tell his apprentice to silence himself. The leader continues: “As you well know, the Lieutenant here is the greatest weapons maker in the galaxy. The Republic utilized her creative vision to bring down many of our missions.” He pauses and places his hands together in thought. His next words obviously ones he wanted to say carefully.

“I would like the Lieutenant to train with Knights of Ren.”

If it weren’t for the mask covering his face, you think Kylo’s jaw would’ve been hanging in shock. His fists are clenched so hard you think he might break a finger with the force of it. You’re just as flabbergasted as he is, your surprise visible to the Supreme Leader.

“I believe it would be prudent for your men to know the ins and outs of the very weapons they use. The Lieutenant will begin working on new designs for them as well, it would be best if she teach the Knights how to use them herself.” Snoke had directed his words at Ren but you felt them like a punch to your gut.

Who even were the Knights of Ren? You assumed they were warriors in relation to Kylo but you had no idea who they really were.

“Any questions Lieutenant?” Snoke turns his eyes to you standing at the far end of the table, never having sat in the first place.

“Uh…no sir.”

“Very well. General you will be chaperoning the Lieutenant to her training lessons and keeping tabs on her work throughout the next couple of weeks.”

Hux nodded and looked to you again, this time the sneer was no where to be found, curiosity having replaced it.

“You are dismissed.” And with that the screen goes blank. The only thing visible being the reflection of your worried face and clenched hands.

You see Kylo turn towards Hux, his body still showing signs of distress from the news.

“Did you have something to do with this?” His voice modulator making his words sound menacing.

Hux scoffs and lifts from his seat. “As if I have the time to get involved in your dramatics. Really, Kylo, think a little.”

Kylo stays silent, clearly wanting to hear more out of the General, unsatisfied by the response he’d gotten.

“No, I did not go to the Supreme Leader and ask him to involve the _girl_ in your life.” Hux huffs an exasperated laugh and begins to walk out. He gestures to the Stormtrooper still standing guard in the corner.

“Bring the Lieutenant to the Labs, she has work to do.”

And with one last glance at the Dark Knight brooding by the table, you are escorted out of the room.

* * *

When you get back to the labs, Benji is hunched over one of the tables, Maximus sleeping at his feet. He’s scribbling something on a notepad in front of him, his long hair pushed back into a bun, a few tendrils framing his face. He was pretty to look at. 

If it wasn’t for his sexual orientation, you probably would’ve already made a pass at him by now.

He looks up at you and smiles.

“I was wondering when you were coming.”

“Yeah me too.” You sit across from him and see that he’s making notes on one of your latest designs.

He stares at you, taking note of your face.

“What’s wrong, Bug?” He closes the notepad and pushes it to the side. You pick up the pencil he was using, fiddling with the eraser.

“How do you think they got a hold of these?” You hold up the pencil. It’s wood, with a pink eraser, but instead of being yellow it was black. You twirled it around in your fingers, staring at it. Benji just looks at you, his eyes reading the stress that is set on your shoulders and the creased into your forehead.

“Not sure…they probably made them here.”

“Just for me? Just because _I_ requested them?”

He stays silent for a while, watching you. You refuse to meet his eyes, instead choosing to continue examining the pencil.

“Are you going you going to tell me what’s going on?”

You stay silent.

He plucks the pencil from your hand, placing it firmly on the other end of the lab table.

“Bug.”

“…Who are the Knights of Ren?”

Benji stays silent, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“They’re like Kylo Ren’s personal team of soldiers, the best fighters in the First Order, serving and commanded only by Kylo. Why do you ask?”

You bite your lip, staring at the corner of the table trying to find the words to explain to him your new assignment.

“I…I was ordered to train them.”

He rears back in shock. “ _What?_ ”

“Well I was ordered to pivot my weapons making process to focus on creating weapons for them and then train them on how to use the tools I create.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“No I won’t—”

“They’re going to kill you. Have you _seen_ them?”

“No but Hux is supposed to be supervising the whole thing—”

“ _General Hux?!_ ” He stands up and begins pacing back and forth in front of the table, his hands on his hips and his head up, like he was praying to whatever god could save him from this situation.

“What have you gotten yourself into Bug?”

You bit your lip again and shook your head.

“I don’t know Benji…”

* * *

The next couple of days breeze by, you and Benji working on new designs for the Knights, until one day a guard walks in after your lunch break. He leads you out of the labs and into the hall where General Hux is standing, waiting for you.

You walk in tandem with him, his strides long but yours quick and stable. He doesn’t say a word to you, just stares forward and leads you down corridors and into an elevator. You go up, probably 5 floors, to a floor with windows along all the walls. When looking in you could see there was a stadium of sorts, where men and women were fighting or practicing drills with their weapons.

The Knights of Ren.

You’re lead down a flight of stairs and finally to a door that opens to the training room you were previously observing. The men and women you saw before all turns to look as you and Hux walk in, stopping just before the mats.

“As I’m sure your commander told you, you will begin training today with the Lieutenant. I will be watching from the observation deck as per the orders of the Supreme Leader.”

There were six of them, two of them women, all fit and strong like you expected. One by one you were introduced to them and then General Hux was turning and leaving back out to the stairs.

One of the women walks up to you, Cara was her name. She had her head shaved and a tattoo that peaked out from the stubble growing back on her head. She smiled at you and put an arm around your shoulder.

“It’s very nice to meet you Lieutenant, Ren was telling us you’re ex-military from the New Republic?”

“Yeah…”

She leads you to a rack on the side of the room that’s filled with all kinds of weapons, knives, swords, nunchuks, maces, crossbows and everything you could think of. Everything except guns or phasers.

“You haven’t got any guns.” You walk up to the rack and run your hands along the metal of the different weapons, cataloging what materials were used the most, how the weapons were molded and shaped.

You hear a huff of laughter from your right and look over to see another Knight, Nandor, an Asian man standing at 6 feet with tattoos covering his left arm. His hair was sticking out at odd ends, clearly having been ravaged by a tough training session. He leans against the wall beside the rack, arms crossed.

“Kylo doesn’t like ‘easy’ artillery. He finds it insulting to the art of war.” Clearly this is a conversation they’d had often with their commander. “Besides the guns on our ships and the ones handled by storm troopers, you won’t find a gun anywhere near us or him.”

You make a mental note to nix the designs that included firearms from your blueprints.

“So these are most of our weapons, some of them are currently in the shop getting mended from our last mission. You can play with them, get a feel for how they handle. It might help your creative juices get flowing?” Cara says from behind you.

Another laugh comes from behind you and you turn to see Cara pushing another girl, Sola.

“What?!”

The other girl giggles. “Creative juices?”

“Oh shut up, I don’t know how all this works.”

A loud clap sounds from across the room. “Alright alright, enough horse playing and dilly-a-dallying. Lets get to work.”

The man speaking was named Vicrul, his head was also shaved like Cara’s. He waltzes over, confidence oozing from him. He stood tall as you looked up at him, he was shirtless and covered in a sheen of sweat.

“You can watch from the sidelines Lieutenant. Take whatever notes you need and don’t be afraid to ask questions. We want to make sure you get the most out of these training sessions.”

He nods to the bench that sits across the room and you nod slowly before walking towards it. You see a datapad has been set on the bench for you and a water sitting on the floor. You take a seat, grab the datapad and get to work as the group begins their drills.

* * *

Kylo never shows. You meet with the Knights every two to three days and each time the Commander is absent. You almost ask Hux about it during the many times he escorts you to and from the training floor but you think better of it. He doesn’t seem the type to keep tabs on Kylo Ren.

You fall asleep one night two weeks after training with a feeling of contentment. Yes you may be a prisoner but you were content. The routine of everything calming your previously heightened nerves. You think the lack of a certain dark menace might be a large reason for your sense of calm.

As you lie there it occurs to you that you’re working for the Dark Side. These men and women may be nice and friendly but at the end of the day your working for what some might consider, the evilest organization in the galaxy.

You left the New Republic to get away from what you considered moral wrongdoings, but here you were getting buddy-buddy with some of the highest ranking First Order members.

In reality you should be working on your plan to escape with Benji and Maximus, not laughing and enjoying the company of killers.

You fell asleep with a plan to talk with Benji about your next steps, hoping that you wouldn’t have to stay on this ship much longer…you were fearful that it might change you as a person. For now you were still you, but what happens if you stayed here for another 2 months? 6 months? A year?!

You were determined to never find out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You begin to get into a comfortable routine on the ship when a certain someone comes and ruins it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking so long to update this, my computer ended up breaking so I was computerless for a while there. Hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER 5

The next two weeks whizzed by in a breeze, you worked on building and creating, trained with the Knights and planned your escape at night. You decided against telling Benji for the time being, you didn’t want the details hiding in his head in case he ever got interrogated and slipped up.

The Knights were always accommodating and kind to you, allowing you to interrupt their drills for questions or comments. You learned the ins and outs of every Knight, like how Vicrul favored his left side, beginning most of his moves there and Cara carried her weight on her toes, making her top heavy when she fought. Sola had strong thighs and utilized them to her favor by kicking and sweeping her legs every chance she got.

Nandor was a jumper, flipping and swinging his lithe body around his opponent like a rabbit. The others, like Arthur, a large, vikikng-like man with red hair and a beard that matched, liked to ambush his opponents, using his large size to his advantage. Baer, a smaller man, only a few inches taller than me, was as quick as a whistle. He moved around his opponent, slashing and punching before they knew what was happening.

Lastly was Damien, a tall dark-skinned man with scarring patterns covering most of his body. They were clearly some kind of cultural body art and protruded with every move. He looked like a true warrior when he fought, the scars moving and shaping across his form beautifully. Damien was the quiet one of the bunch, not saying much but he never had too, his skill making up for any criticism of his silent personality. Out of all of the Knights, Damien was the deadliest. With one look he knew your weak spots and he could cut you down in a matter of seconds.

You thoroughly enjoyed watching the Knights fight and run through drills. You hadn’t seen any action like this since your time in the military when you were just another officer. And you realized you missed it.

Soon they even began to train with you, showing the drills and teaching you combat. You knew when they trained with you they weren’t using their full strength but it was fun to learn and get involved in the sessions. It even helped you understand where to improve your designs as you were able to really experience how their bodies moved.

* * *

It was during your 4th full week of training that Ren shows up.

You’re sparring with Arthur when you hear the door to the staircase open and heavy footsteps enter. Just as you’re about to turn around, Arthur slams you into the ground, your back hits the mat with a dull thud and the wind is knocked out of you.

The footsteps approach and when you open your eyes, Kylo Ren is standing over you, the mask covering his face, cold and emotionless. Arthur stands at a parade rest, hands behind his back, facing his commander.

Kylo raises his hand to signal that Arthur can be at ease and the man walks away, his red hair leaving your line of sight.

The room is silent except for the mechanical breathes coming from Ren’s mask and your struggling pants as you lay on the floor. He takes you in for another moment before: “Get up.”

You’re still out of it but you scramble to stand, almost losing your balance on the way up.

When you’ve righted yourself he speaks again.

“My Knights have informed me that you’re training with them now.”

It wasn’t a question but you nodded anyways. The room is deadly quiet, you don’t dare to move your eyes away from the murder that stands before you.

“I was curious.” Is all he adds before he begins to remove his cloak, unclipping it from his shoulders. Nandor comes and takes it from him. Kylo’s men clearly served him in even these little gestures, making sure their Commander was comfortable and free of effort in every avenue.

He never removes his mask, instead coming to stand directly in front of you.

“I thought it would be in my best interest to see if you really understood the severity of your assignment. Just how important these weapons will be to my men.” He unstraps his gloves from his hands and drops them into Sola’s waiting hands. You hadn’t even noticed her approach, too focused on the words coming from the Commanders mouth.

Clearly his Knights were used this this “ _show_ ” of undressing that he put on.

“I think it would be prudent for me to see the great weapons mason in action. See if she really understands combat like everyone claims.”

Before you know it he’s grabbing your wrist and twisting until your back is to him and he’s got you trapped. You pause in shock before kicking out behind you, catching your heel on his shin. He drops your wrist and you roll away from him. You turn and stop, staring up at him from your crouched position.

Did he really expect you to fight him?

By the way he was stalking forward it was clear the answer was yes.

Quickly you run at him, but he’s faster and he blocks you, pushing you to the ground.

You punch but it misses and he takes the opportunity to grab your arm and slam it to the floor. You use your hips to push up and flip your positions so that you’re on top. You elbow him in the gut and he hisses. Again you back away from him and stand.

He rises from the floor and swings his arm at you, you dodge under and land another punch to his stomach. This time he’s prepared and it barely phases him, instead he pushes you down to catch his knee into your chin.

You feel your teeth chatter against each other and you huff in pain. You go to rub at it when he grabs you by the waist and slams you to the ground again.

He’s much stronger and bigger than you and uses that as an advantage.

He punches you and your face whips to the side, your eyes swimming for a moment before you grab his helmet and pull him to the side, ramming his head into the ground. Kylo tries to push you off but your being fueled by anger at this point and you slam his head to the ground again.

He may be wearing a helmet but having his head rattled around like that couldn’t feel good to anybody.

He growls, the sound coming out robotic from his mask. He moves his arm in front of him and elbows you in the side. He flips you around until you’re under him, his hands going to your neck. Your left leg is folded at an awkward angle between you, your ankle twisted oddly, as he holds his weight against your body.

He tightens his hands, blocking your airways. You fight back, punch at his arms, his head too far away. You push and scratch at him, doing everything you can to get him off your body, but he doesn’t budge.

You feel the blood rushing to your head, your vision beginning to get blurry. You wiggle and thrash underneath him in desperation before the idea comes.

You had no idea if this would work but at this point you would try anything. Closing your eyes, you yelled in your head. You screamed as loud as you could, pushing outward, hoping it would reach him.

For a moment you feel his hands loosen their grip and begin to suck in a breath before:

“Don’t you dare!” He yells as he lifts you by the throat and slams you down again.

A sickening crack sounds through the gym and you yell out in pain. The foot that was trapped between you and him giving away to audible injury.

Kylo unwraps his hands from your neck and lifts himself from the floor, you cough as you quickly go to cradle your broken ankle, holding your leg close as it throbbed and screamed in pain.

He brushes himself off and you stare at him from the floor, your throat burning.

He shakes his head.

“What a shame…And to think we paid top dollar, used so many resources and men….to capture _you_.” The disappointment dripping from his mouth. He grabs his cloak and gloves from his Knights.

“Just for you to disappoint me.”

Shame washes hot over your cheeks, it blurs out the pain that is shooting up your leg and makes your eyes water. You feel your throat tighten and you squeeze your eyes tight.

You weren’t going to cry in front of him.

You _wouldn’t_.

Your eyes remain closed as he saunters out the door. The only sound are his footsteps and the door that closes behind him.

A moment goes by before a hand comes to rest on your shoulder.

“Come on, lets get you to the med bay.” Cara’s soft voice says beside you.

You hear the staircase doors open again and you open your eyes to see Hux looking on at you. For a split second you think you see worry detailing his features but it’s gone too quickly before you can analyze it, replaced by a cold and flat look.

Arms come up under your armpits and knees, Cara gently holds your leg to keep your ankle steady as you’re lifted. The person carrying you is Arthur, his large chest soft and comforting. You snuggle into it while he bridal carries you, closing your eyes again he brings you towards the door that Hux holds open and up the stairs.

* * *

Maggie is her name, the small woman taking care of you. She has a bright smile and a sickeningly happy demeanor. She’s the complete opposite of everything on this godforsaken ship, with her slight southern drawl and high blonde pony-tail, tied up with the pinkest brightest neon scrunchie.

She bops around like a fairy, quick and bouncy. Grabbing tools and bandages, making sure to distract you with stories and conversation. You learn that she loves banana pudding, her favorite color is yellow and she doesn’t curse.

So for the past 20 minutes, as she ran an osseous scanner across your ankle, you had been trying to make her swear.

“Oh come on, just _one_ word. I’ll even let you choose the word!”

She giggles and continues scanning your ankle. The tool wouldn’t do much now, but it made it so your blood cells worked at a faster pace while you healed over the next couple of days.

“No I’m not swearin’.”

“Pleeeease.”

“No, my mama taught me better than that.” She closes the scanner and grabs a cream from the table beside my bed.

“Well your mom’s not here.”

She begins rubbing the ointment on your ankle. You hiss in pain but remain still as she works.

“This’ll be over in a squidge, I just gotta wrap it up now.” Maggie says from the bottom of the bed. Her hands are cold, but it relieves the ache in your skin as she rubs her hands over the break. She pulls out some wrap and begins twisting it around and over your ankle and foot. She brings out a boot to keep your foot stable and carefully fits it on you. When she’s done, she pats your thigh and stands to clean up her mess.

You thank her as you move your knee to test the weight of your new accessory. It’s heavy but you’ll only have it on for a couple days before you can get back to standing and walking normally. For now though, your training sessions would be paused. Arthur and Cara having told you to rest and keep away from the gym for a while.

That damn Kylo Ren.

Just when things were getting stable, you were feeling relatively comfortable, he had to go and ruin it.

Fortunately, this time away from the gym would allow you to focus more on an escape plan. The trip to the medbay giving you the opportunity to memorize the routes it took to get there. So far you knew your way around the lab floor, the floor with your quarters, the med bay, and even some places in between.

The next step was to build the trust of Hux so he would allow you to roam around without an escort, the damn guards never let you linger down the halls for too long, quickly rushing you to each designated room.

“..hun?” You turn your head to where Maggie is standing at your side. She looks concerned as she places a hand on your arm.

“Oh sorry, what were saying?”

“No it’s alright, I know it’s been a long day for you. I was just saying that you’re good to go back to your quarters but you’re welcome to stay here the night if you’d like?”

The thought of being in back in your room was a lonely thought, so instead you shook your head and agreed to spend the night in the medbay.

It was still early evening so you were left to your own devices, watching television in your room and flipping through the different books they had on catalog in the patient provided tablet. Maggie would come and visit you periodically and even came by to hang out after her shift ended.

You two hit it off quite well, her bubbly personality a nice match for your moody demeanor. She giggled at every story you told, never having heard of such adventures. She thought your potty-mouth was hilarious and your attempts at tainting her even funnier.

As it turned to late evening she eventually left, citing your need for rest. She skipped out, her pink ponytail swinging in time with her steps. You imagined she was the embodiment of sunshine. A rainbow personified.

How could someone so sweet be involved with the First Order? It didn’t make any sense to you.

You would have to remember to ask her the next time you saw her.

The night at the medbay was long but it was comfortable and it was different. A different surrounding for once. The next morning you are escorted back to your room to prepare for your day in the lab, not even a broken ankle would allow the First Order to give you a break.

But you were alright with that. In fact, you preferred it that way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Hux begin to become unlikely acquaintances...and maybe soon friends.

After the whole ordeal with your ankle, Hux seemed ‘softer’. If soft could ever be a word to describe him. You saw him more often now that you weren’t training, the guards no longer knocked at your door in the morning, instead it was Hux.

It was surprising at first, and a little awkward but eventually you two fell into a rhythm. It felt like his way to make sure you were okay, as if escorting you everywhere would ease his “worry”.

When you were finally allowed back to training, he took care not to walk too fast as he escorted you. He asked how you were, making sure you were well enough to continue your walks, careful to hold doors open for you as well.

He was still snooty and cold, but he was mindful of your injury.

Two weeks after the incident is when you finally asked him.

“So, I was wondering…”

He waited for you to continue, looking at you from the corner of his eye as you two walked to the training floor. When he stayed silent, you continued.

“Could Benji and Maximus start coming to these sessions?” You breath out, wincing as soon you finished.

He pauses his long strides and turns to you fully.

“Excuse me?”

You stare up at him wide eyed and chew on your cheek, trying to think of the best way to continue with your request. You look down at his boots, nervous, before you hear a huff of annoyance come from him.

“It would do you well to answer your superiors in a timely manner Lieutenant.” He turns to start walking again but you grab his arm, quickly dropping it when he glares down at your hand.

“I’m sorry.” You step forward to stand in front of him again.

“I was thinking…since they help me in the lab and they’re technically…co-creators?” You cringe at your explanation but continue.

“Look, it’s starting to get harder to communicate exactly what each Knight needs when only _I’ve_ seen them in action. I think I’ve been good; I’ve done what you’ve told me, I’ve been the perfect…” You pause trying to find the right word. “…prisoner?”

He smirks at your choice of description.

“You think you’ve earned a… _reward_ for your work?” He says the word -reward- like it tastes bad in his mouth.

“yes.” You squeak.

He moves again, walking forward at the same comfortable pace as before. You stride to catch up to him and stare up at him expectantly.

“What?”

“Is that a yes?” Hope inflates your chest.

“No.” And like that, it pops.

“No?!” You pout and look to the ceiling. You’re very aware of how childish your behavior is but you couldn’t care less.

“No.”

“Hux pleaseeee- “

“Hux?”

You shake your head and correct yourself. “ _General_.”

“You’re really going to beg me like a child?”

You huff and pout some more before –” Pleaseeeeeee General Hux, pleaseeeee.”

He stifles a chuckle and holds a door open for you to walk ahead. You continue your path to the training room.

“You’re awfully annoying for someone in such a weak position.”

You roll your eyes, but he doesn’t see, instead favoring the view of the hallway before you and the elevator that awaits you.

“Hux- “

“General.” He corrects again.

You sigh and walk into the elevator when it slides open. He follows behind, typing in the floor code to the training area. That was one thing that was different about that floor, you couldn’t just roll right up to it, you needed to know the code to reach it.

You assumed it was for security measures, preventing any spies or rogue storm troopers from getting there and taking the many specialized weapons that were stored on the floor.

The silence was stiff in the elevator, Hux standing and refusing to acknowledge the pout you were shooting his way. He steps out when the elevator slides open and begins towards the door to the staircase.

You looked on from the observation window to see the others training. Damien and Nandor were absent, you assumed they were on a mission. Looking back at Hux standing at the staircase door, you start forward with a huff.

Hux walks you to the bench on the outskirts of the training floor, his lip twitches to say something but he’s interrupted by Cara who stomps forward and lays a hard hand on his shoulder.

“What’s up Ginge.”

You look curiously at Hux for understanding but he’s already turned to Cara, a sour look on his face. “Respecting your superiors is a very valued trait among the Order…it might do you good, _Knight_.”

Cara rolls her eyes and takes her hand back before turning to you. “He’s such a sourpuss sometimes, right?”

You stifle a laugh, covering your mouth and closing your eyes, not wanting to see Hux’s reaction to your outburst of laughter.

“Well then, I will see you after training Lieutenant.” With a stiff lip and a rigid back, General Hux leaves in a huff, the door slamming shut behind him.

You sigh and shake your head.

There really wasn’t anything to do now to fix his mood but you hoped he calmed down enough later so you could hit him with some more begging. For now though, you had some training to observe and some weapons to plan out.

* * *

The next week goes by in a blur but one thing that stays constant is your pleading with Hux.

Everyday he brings you to the training floor whilst you bug him to let you bring Benji and Maximus. And everyday he says no. Sometimes he likes to ignore you, but in those moments, you just annoy him more until he speaks to you.

It’s on the ninth day of begging that he finally cracks.

“ _Jesus_ _Christ, alright already!”_

Your both in the elevator when he yells at you. You had been in the middle of another speech pleading your case when he interrupted.

“You can have your damn friends with you as long as you just _shut up already_.” He stomps out of the elevator leaving you behind.

Running to catch up, you squeal and laugh. “Thank you!”

You both reach the staircase and he stops to look at you.

“Please remember that you are not a guest, a friend or a member of the First Order. You are a _prisoner_. Do not expect the same treatment I’m giving you from anybody else. Do you understand?”

Looking up at him, you give him a smirk and a jab in the ribs.

“Aww…am I special Hux?”

The General sighs, you can feel the annoyance radiating from him in waves as he walks into the stairwell, leaving you to follow behind.

PPPPPPPPPPPP

It isn’t until a couple days later that Hux brings Benji and Maximus to the training session.

“Maxi boy!” The dog bounds forward and you scratch the back of his ear. You hear the others stop what they’re doing, you can feel their eyes watching you interact with your dog.

Benji walks up to the bench, quietly saying hello to the others before sitting down.

“So, guys, this is my best friend Benji and my dog Maximus.” The Knights stare blankly at you.

“…Um…I figured it would be more helpful to have them here to help observe and take notes.” Your voice trails off, nobody saying a word. You hold on to Max’s collar, making sure he doesn’t get near them.

Arthur is the first to approach, his face blank until a huge grin breaks through and he’s patting Maximus’s head.

“Look at this good lad! So well behaved my boy!”

That’s the crack that breaks the ice as the others begin to move forward and greet Benji and Maximus.

The Knights end up loving Max and Benji, requesting that they never miss another training. They play with the dog and even run practice drills with Benji. You fall into a comfortable routine, lab work and training and more lab work. It’s…nice.

You almost forget to continue planning your escape, but two weeks later the reality of the danger you’re in emerges to the forefront of your worries.

You’re getting ready for bed when you receive a message from Kylo Ren.

Surprisingly this is the first message directly from him. Usually he just has Hux or a guard relay any information to you, but this time was different.

You open the message to see a mission report. There are coordinates, plans and a schedule, with the names of all the Knights sprinkled throughout. If you weren’t mistaken it looked like a report that should be sent to crewmembers before embarking on a mission.

Ren didn’t seem the type to make an error like this but you receiving this message must have been one. Instead of messaging back you decided it would probably be safer to contact Hux about this. As you’re typing out a message to him you receive another ping on your data pad. The preview at the top says that it’s another message from Kylo.

Quickly you open it to read:

**From Kylo Ren:**

**Supreme Leader believes it would be prudent to get you on the field to observe my men and women in action. Guards will be escorting you to docking bay 7 at 0400. Do not be tardy.**

**-K.R.**

…So, the initial message _was_ for you. Which meant that tomorrow, you would be going on your first mission with Kylo and his Knights.

You didn’t grant him a reply, instead shutting off your data pad and crawling into bed.

“Lights off.” You call out to the room. The room is shuttered into darkness while you lay still in bed. You weren’t sure why you were even attempting to sleep; you knew you wouldn’t get a wink with the balloon of anxiety filling your chest.

Being in the military for 7 years didn’t ease the nerves that rattled your body because you knew this was different. This wasn’t some easy in and out mission where you protect civilians and get intel on the enemy. This was a metaphorical death note.

If you got caught up in danger or hurt, you knew Kylo and his Knights would leave you to fend for yourself. Although the Knights had become your friends, you knew that in the end, they would protect and serve their leader before anyone or anything else.

You drifted in and out of sleep that night, wondering if tomorrow would be the day you die.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* There are graphic depictions of murder in this chapter. If this is something that may bother you, please don't read!

Anxiety didn’t feel like the right word to describe the feeling running through your body. You could feel your heartbeat running a mile a minute, but it felt as if the blood wasn’t even reaching your hands, your fingertips freezing, almost numb.

It was 30 minutes past 0400 and you were standing in docking bay 7 surrounded by stormtroopers and high-level officers preparing for your take off. The ship was nearly ready for boarding but Kylo still wasn’t here.

You had expected him to be the first one here but as it turned out, he was a bit of a primadonna. When Baer had walked in earlier you asked where his leader was and the man just laughed and stated that Ren would be here when he felt it was time.

The Knights all filed in at differing times, zipping around the bay and preparing in their own ways for the mission. You had already read through the mission report 3 times and there wasn’t much else for you to do while you waited for the Queen himself to arrive.

You were walking over to converse with Sola when you hear a hush fall over the room. You see people turn to stand at attention and you whip around to see Ren stalk through the doors of the bay. His usual attire replaced by one with a shorter cape and a tighter fit. You assumed this changed outfit was to help him fight if they were to expect battle on the planet today.

You feel a hand pat your back and you turn to see Sola standing behind you.

“It’s time to board kid.” In her hand she holds a blade, it’s small and unobtrusive but curved with a point that could cut with just a look. A Trailing Point blade **.** She holds the knife out to you, gesturing for you to take it.

“I know this is just supposed to be an in-and-out kind of mission, but you never know if you might need it.” She smiles. “Just hide it in your boot, Ren will never know.”

You take the knife from her and slide it into the regulation combat boots the guards had given you this morning. They’d knocked on your door at 0345 with a cart full of clothes and a note from General Hux that said:

Lieutenant,

I was informed you would be embarking on a mission this morning and had our seamstress, Diana, pull some regulation uniforms for you. Apologies if some of these aren’t the right size, the mission was as much a surprise to me as I’m sure it was to you.

When you get back we’ll plan for a trip to see Diana and get you fitted for something that better suites you.

Best of Luck,

Armitage Hux

The clothes were a mishmash of greys, most of them baggy or stretchy. You’re thankful for the movability of the uniforms, you wouldn’t want to have to dig out a wedgie amid battle. Yes, you were a trained solider, but you were still a woman with curves and it could be awfully annoying to have to adjust your pants every 5 seconds.

You changed into a long sleeve top and cargo pants with combat boots to match, in the end you just looked like the poster child for shades of grey. The seamstress was smart enough to include hair ties and pins and you were grateful to put your hair up and out of your face.

The Knights were decked out in full uniform, you watched as one by one they adorned their helmets and boarded the ship. Without the knowledge of who they were, you could see why they got the reputation they did. The Knights were absolutely terrifying with their masks, looking more like ancient medieval executioners than new-age space soldiers.

You followed behind Sola, taking a seat next to her. You were strapping yourself in when you hear Kylo board. Slowly you peak up and see that he is staring at you but before you could speak he turns and takes a seat at the back of the ship alone.

Baer is seated at the helm, readying the space craft for flight. He closes the doors and you see through the glass the docking bay doors sliding open. They reveal a small blue planet, its hue close to that of a lapis lazuli, rich and full of color.

Even if the mission was anxiety inducing you could feel excitement bubbling up at the thought of getting to explore an unknown place.

* * *

The planet was quiet expect for the hum of foreign insects hiding in the trees. The foliage was blue, bluer than even the deepest oceans, its color seeping into the cervices of the soil below it. You wondered if the creature who roamed these woods were also as blue. If they hid behind the walls of sapphire and azure, waiting…watching.

The group held a basic diamond formation with Damien at the lead. You walked behind him with Kylo by your side. If you weren’t so sure of the dark menace’s hatred towards you, you’d feel flattered to be accompanied by him on this mission. But instead of feeling like his partner in crime, you felt for the first time in weeks, like a prisoner.

Being near Ren seemed to always bring you back to the reality of your situation. This wasn’t your home, these weren’t your friends. You were just a war criminal turned prisoner, biding her time until the Order decided her use was fulfilled.

Damien came to a slow stop, gesturing for the others to halt as well. He crouches, touching the navy dirt beneath him before speaking.

“She is near.” The dark-skinned man turns to look at Kylo.

Kylo nods before: “I feel her too.”

Damien turns away, bowing his head, hand still connected to the floor below him. There is silence before Damien stands and changes their direction to begin walking to towards the left, his strides more purposeful than before.

How did he know where their target was?

The mission briefing had stated that their target was a force-sensitive T'doshok, human hybrid. She was one of the few of her kind, as many humans regarded the T'doshok as bottom tier creatures. But it seems her parents were against the status quo.

From what you understood of force-sensitive beings, it was possible for them to sense each-other. With the proper training, a force-sensitive being could manipulate the force to work in their favor, allowing for the individual to feel for others like them in their vicinity.

Which meant that Damien was a force-sensitive being…

That was the only way he could be sensing and following the trail to their target.

But did that mean that the others were also force-sensitive?

You looked around at the other Knights, but they were all just following Damien’s lead, none appeared to be “using” the force like the lead Knight was. You tucked away the train of thought for further examining later, noting that you might ask about it at a future training.

The group eventually reached the edge of a plateau, the drop leading to a sky-blue grass land. Within the tall grass lie small huts made from dark blue mud and bark. You expected to see people, hear the life of a village that should be there but instead there was only silence.

“She’s here.” Said Damien.

“Yes.” Is all Kylo replies before he begins his decent down towards the ghost town.

The rest of the group splits up before descending down with their leader. Nandor gestures for you to follow behind him and you do. When you reach the bottom Kylo silently orders the group to crouch and spread out more. Both Damien and Kylo are staring at a particular hut in the middle of the village as they move the team forward.

The small commune was littered with long forgotten wagons and tools. Half deteriorated bales of blue hay were spread out around the area, their bindings riddled with tears and flattened by years of weather. It was as if the people of this village just up and left one day without a second thought.

You shivered to think what could force an entire town to up and run from their livelihood like this. But when you look at Kylo, you remember that there are things in this universe that could change the lives of many in the blink of an eye.

Ren makes another gesture and the group again spreads out, this time forming a half circle surrounding the hut. You and Nandor take the far-left corner, hiding behind a bale of hay.

You peak out from your hiding place, watching as Damien and Kylo approach the hut in unison. Before they reach the doorway you see movement within the home. An older woman steps out into the light before the two men can get any closer.

She’s short with a shaved head, her skin scaley and her eyes upturned in a snake-like manner. The most shocking revelation were the tattoos that adorned her body. From head to toe she was covered in intricate ink, it wrapped gracefully around her arms and legs, to the top of her head and the tip of her nose. They seemed tribal almost, like they were meant to represent something.

She hunches when she walks forward, peering up at Kylo with a blank expression.

“I was wondering when you would arrive.” Her voice was raspy when she spoke, wise and old, with an air of power hidden behind. She had clearly held a place of leadership for most of her life.

“Then you know why I am here.” Kylo replied.

The woman huffs a laugh, looking off into the distance. “Yes…I do.”

“Then let’s make this easy for the both of us. Give me the map.” Kylo holds out his hand in expectation but the old woman just looks at it before sighing.

“Unfortunately, you’ve come too late.”

“Late?”

The woman nods. “The Resistance has already come here to retrieve what you are looking for.”

You feel your stomach drop, an icy feeling crawling up your spine. The Resistance. They had already been here before them and had taken what the Order needed.

The piece of a map.

From your mission report you understood that The Order had been building a map, its pieces scattered across the galaxy. You weren’t sure what it led to but clearly it was important enough for the Resistance to be looking for it too.

You wondered how long ago they had been here to retrieve the map. If it was a while back, then the Order was unfortunately very behind…but a strange part of you felt that to be untrue.

You knew that it had taken the Order months to figure out where this woman was, and that was with the universe’s best decoders and hunters at their disposal. The Resistance couldn’t have figured it out faster than them.

Which meant one thing:

The woman was lying or…the Resistance was still here.

But your gut told you it was the latter of the two and you looked up to see Kylo clench his fist open and closed, open and closed. He knew they were here too.

You turn to Nandor and whisper: “The Resistance, they’re here with us.”

The cold helmet looks at you and back at Kylo before speaking. “How do you know?”

Before you could speak there’s a loud bang to your right, an explosion of smoke that burned and permeated the air making you cough and hack, tears welling up and blocking your vision. You reach out for Nandor, blindly feeling for the soldier but he’s no where to be found.

He left you. Just like you knew his Knights would, you were left in favor of protecting their leader.

You crawled on the floor, attempting to find a clearing so you could breath but there was nothing. It felt like the smoke kept going and going. If you didn’t find a way out fast you would suffocate. 

Soon you bump into a hut and crawl along the edge until you reach the doorway, crawling your way in and quickly reaching the back. The air was much clearer, cool and damp against your heated skin. You continued to cough, spitting up onto the floor next to you.

Finally, when you’re able to breath normally, you get up to look out the window. The smoke seeps into the hut through the door and windows, but quickly dissipates in the face of the wet air inside. You can hear the sizzle of a lightsaber being brandished and swung, its red glow the only thing getting through the fog that filled the battle ground.

You hear shouts from unfamiliar voices, orders for positions and names being called out. You hear footsteps running outside your safe space, running towards the action. You think you can see the shoes of the Resistance soldiers smacking on the ground as they pass your door.

The fog begins to dissipate, crawling out and away from the fight. You can see more clearly what is going on…and it doesn’t look good.

There are at least 25 Resistance fighters battling their way to Kylo, with more appearing out of the woods above them. You can see them running down the side of the plateau towards the fight.

The Knights are peeling their way through the men and woman who come running into battle, knocking them down like dominos. You can hear the anguished screams of the fighters as they get torn into by the trained Knights. Blood splatters itself across their armor and onto the ground, seeping its way into the soil…a permeant mark of today’s fight.

It’s then that you see him, a small man with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. You knew him.

His name was Matthew, you were his trainer when he enlisted in the Republic’s military. He was a bright young man with talent, you remember telling him he’d go far. He was determined and always followed orders, never straying or giving lip.

He must’ve joined the Resistance as Republic Military aid. Helping them train for battle against the Order. He was running towards Kylo, weaving in and out of small fights being had around them. In his hand he held a phaser, its mode set to kill.

Before you knew what you were doing, you were running out of the hut and onto the battleground. You pushed past resistance fighters and the Knights, your target being Matthew.

As he got closer to Kylo he raised the phaser and aimed. You were too far away, he was going to shoot and Kylo was too engrossed in battle to notice, so you did the only thing you could think of and screamed Matthew’s name.

The blonde whipped his head around to see you running towards him, his expression one of confusion. You were almost there, almost 4 yards away at this point. Matthew furrows his brow before turning back to look at Kylo, his attention back on his target.

You’d taught him that. You’d taught him to never be distracted from his main objective, even in the midst of battle, the most important thing was completing your mission.

He aims the phaser once more but before he can shoot, you’re there, tackling him to the ground. The phaser bounces away, too far for Matthew’s scrambling hand to reach.

“What the hell are you doing?” He spits out. His eyes are wild, the heat of the fight fueling him.

He bucks up, grabbing at your arms to try to push you off but you remain straddling him, gripping his uniform. He’s kicking his legs out and struggling beneath you, the dirt below you lifting up in his attempt at escape.

“ _Stop resisting!”_ You command above him, but he barely hears you, instead choosing to begin punching up at you.

You avoid most of them but a few land on your shoulders and neck, eventually one grazes your chin and your grip on him falters. He takes the opportunity to flip you around until he’s on top, once again punching at you.

You try to block him, grab at his swinging arms but he gets two good hits that leave you bleeding through your nose. Your eyes burn and your mouth begins to fill with blood. It’s then that he stops punching and just holds you down.

“What are you _doing_?” He asks again. He’s holding your arms out to the side, trapping you between the ground and him. His eyes go wide as he examines the uniform that you’re wearing. Anyone could understand that they belonged to the Order.

“You’re with—” Before he can finish you spit at him, bloody saliva hitting him in the eye. You take his surprised state as an opportunity to push him off. You scramble up to stand, watching him furiously wipe at his face.

You look around to see the fight is almost done, the Knights and Kylo having killed most of the Resistance fighters. Turning back to Matthew you see him reaching for the phaser again, but his sights aren’t on Kylo, instead they’re on you.

The phaser is a Ringo Tech 980, 2nd edition with an upgraded chamber. You knew he had 3 shots before it needed to recharge, which could take anywhere from 46 seconds to 2 minutes. But this was an old one, used and battered. By that understanding you could count on the recharge time to be longer, 3 to 5 minutes instead.

Matthew finally gets ahold of the phaser and checks the knob to see if it’s still set to kill, but you’re already reaching for the knife in your boot. Its blade is sharp, and it glints in the light that filters through the smoke of the battlefield.

You stalk forward, knife in hand and determination in your eyes.

Matthew lifts the phaser, shoots, but it misses. He shoots again, you feel it rush past your face, its heat sizzling the hairs that stand up on your cheek. He has one more shot but it’s too late, he’s to slow, you’re already pouncing on him. His head hits the dirt with loud thump, his brow furrowing in pain.

The next moments seem to happen in slow motion. You’re lifting the blade above him; his eyes are wide as he watches it come down into his chest. You feel the blade sink in between two of his ribs, the hilt flush against his body.

He cries out in pain and you’re already tugging the blade out and stabbing him again, this time higher, aiming for his heart. He tries to fight you but the pain in his chest prevents him from giving it his all.

Again, you remove the knife and lift it to strike again. This time it lands in his shoulder, you feel his tendons tearing away from the blade. Again, he cries out.

You feel hot, a rush of adrenaline running through you. The world around is gone, this moment between you and Matthew the only thing that matters. You quietly study his face as you swipe the knife down again, this time below his ribcage.

He was crying, screaming and bleeding out below you, but you couldn’t really hear it. It was the like the noises around you were muted, your brain in a fog of cotton, your vision tunneled into just Matthew.

You don’t know how many times you strike him, but eventually he stops making sounds, his eyes glaze over and his body no longer moves under you. You can still hear screaming, but it isn’t from him, his mouth is agape, but the screams aren’t his.

No, the screams are yours.

You’re yelling and screaming out; you feel hot tears falling down your face as you continue to strike the body beneath you. There are no words that come out of your mouth, just animalistic noises of pain, emotional pain.

Eventually a hand grabs your arm before you can swing down once more at Matthew. The young man is a bloody mess, his torso shredded with stab wounds and his face blank with death.

The blade in your hand falls to the ground and you’re lifted to a standing position by the hand that grips your arm. You hearing a soothing voice speaking into your ear, a hand pets your face and rubs away the tears that fall.

You’re still crying, heaving and gasping. Your eyes are screwed shut and you grip at the person in front of you. Your hand can’t find purchase in the armor the person wears, its metal cold against your fingers.

Eventually you open your eyes to see Arthur, his helmet is gone, and his eyes are wrinkled in worry. His large arms hold you against him and he brings your head to rest on his chest. You examine the field and see that the battle is won. Around you lay the bodies of resistance fighters, their lifeless forms bloody and bruised.

You can see the other Knights standing near, watching you and Arthur.

Kylo stands the farthest away, above the woman they came here for. She is lifeless, like a rag doll, at his feet.

Dead.

You don’t know what the Dark Knight says but you see him gesture to the others and they begin to move back where we came from, up the plateau.

Arthur looks down at you. “We must go now little one, our mission is complete.”

You nod and try to move forward but your legs are shaky and you feel off-balance. The gruff man stops you and instead lifts you up. You curl into his chest like you once did before and close your eyes.

* * *

You don’t know when you reached the small ship, but you’re eventually strapped in and looking out the front glass of the space craft. Again, Baer sits at the helm, maneuvering the ship into orbit.

You feel drained, your eyes puffy and your body sore. There’s a window beside you and you look out of it, trying to lead your brain to a mindless place, but all you see is the reflection of yourself.

You’re covered in semi-dried blood. It runs from your nose, down your chin and along your neck. It soaks into the front of your shirt and mixes with the blood of Matthew that covers your body. Your eyes are red from crying and wild, you look like a beast. A monster.

You’ve never seen so much blood at once, it cakes yours arms and hands, building up under your nails. The uniform you wore was practically dyed maroon from it.

You feel your lip begin to tremble at the sight of you, but a hand comes to rest on your shoulder, turning you from the window.

Sola is there, her eyes sympathetic as she looks at you.

“We’ll get you cleaned up as soon as we get back. You’ll be good as new.”

You slowly blink and nod at her.

Good as new.

Removing the blood from your body will not scrub the death from your soul. It won’t wash away the image of the light fading from Matthew’s eyes.

No…you’ll never be clean from what you did today.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Hux have a short, but private conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been FOREVER since I updated but I've been going through life stuff and didn't have the energy or time to write. I won't promise I'll be more consistent but I do know that I want to finish this story. I hope you like this chapter!

The next couple of days are slow, you go through the motions in quiet contemplation. Benji worries and wonders, you still hadn’t told him what happened on the mission, instead deflecting away from the topic. Thankfully the Knights don’t bring it up either, saving you from a tough conversation.

They look at you differently now, sympathetic and sad, like they know how fragile you are. It hurts to see them look at you this way. You don’t want things to be weird or different between you all but…after what you did, it was to be expected.

You knew they weren’t judging you for what you did, hell, you’re sure they’d done worst. But it felt like a threshold had been crossed and they knew it. You weren’t just some prisoner of war, forced to work for the Order for your freedom…you had killed for them.

Even Hux began to treat you differently after the mission. He must have read the debriefing report and seen what you did, understood how this changed things for you. He seemed disappointed almost, like a friend who watched you drink your feelings away, only to have to hold your hair in the bathroom later on.

Fortunately for you, Snoke was ecstatic at the news, if the man could convey anything near that. He ordered you to a new, bigger room and allowed you more freedoms around the ship, citing that your “loyalty to the Order showed great perseverance and commitment”.

You felt sick to your stomach when he said that.

You sat in a room with the Knights and Kylo, hours after you had gotten back from the mission. The room was largely silent except for the smooth, quiet words of Ren describing the details of the trip to a hologram of the Supreme Leader.

The Knights appeared tired and worn out, but they held their attention steady towards their leader as he spoke. Kylo never removed his helmet, instead favoring the robotic nature of the mask. You wondered if he ever took it off. 

The meeting was pointless and by the end of it you were counting the tiles that lined the ceiling. The endless drone of numbers in your head relaxed you and allowed you to zone out into nothingness. It wasn’t until Cara patted your shoulder as she walked past, that you realized the meeting was over.

Kylo was the last one in the room, you studied his mask as he stared at you.

The hologram was gone, instead leaving you two in silence, the window of the room overlooking the stars as you whizzed by.

He spoke first: “You will no longer be escorted; you may come and go as you please along the ship.”

You huff a tired laugh.

“Prisoner of war commits murder once and now she’s allowed to roam free…seems a little quick to me.”

“These are orders from the Supreme Leader, I do not question them.” He turns to leave the room. His cape is gone but he still walks with a haughtiness that suggests otherwise.

It’s stupid, honestly irresponsible of them, giving you free reign around the ship. You wondered if decisions like these were the reason why the Order kept losing against the Resistance. Yes, you were a prisoner of war, but you were also ex-military. Trained and ready to escape a situation just like this.

You hadn’t heard the door close behind you, so you turn to see Kylo standing in the doorway. His massive frame taking up the space it held. His fists were clenched but his voice was steady when he spoke.

“I wouldn’t attempt to continue that train of thought if I were you.”

Shocked, you go to stand but something invisible holds you down to your seat. You stare up at him in horror as he steps forward.

“Your leash may have been lengthened, a small freedom for you. But you are First Order property. If you attempt to escape, I _will_ stop you. If you succeed in escaping, I _will_ hunt you down and drag you back.” Each sentence is punctuated by a step forward, his hand raised as if to grab something. 

“Do not mistake your comfort for freedom _girl_.” You feel something tighten around your neck, you try to lift your hands, but they’re stuck beside your body, a vice grip of an invisible entity.

You can feel your face getting hot and red, the blood rushing to your head. There are tears welling up in your eyes, but you aren’t scared. No, you’re angry.

You do the only thing you can think of and spit at him, it hits his face plate with a wet smack. Immediately you’re released from the bonds and you scramble to stand, grabbing the chair to hold between you two.

He wipes at his mask and huffs a laugh.

“Even in the face of death you fight back. Are you scared of nothing girl?”

“Not of you. You’re just a bully with a superiority complex, nothing more.”

He huffs another robotic laugh before turning to leave again, but before stepping through the door: “Maybe soon you’ll realize just how scary I can be.” And with that he’s gone, stalking off into the hall without another look back.

You put the chair down and sink into it, wondering if there would ever be an escape from here. Not if Ren could read your every thought like a display for his viewing.

You sat in that room for a while after, just staring out into space. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave because it felt like a finality. The mission was over, Matthew was dead and the whole world would move forward without a second thought.

It wasn’t until a guard came knocking that you finally moved from your seat and out the room. You had planned to go back to the labs but instead you went to your room, wanting a good nap before going on with your day.

* * *

They change you to a new room soon after, but you rarely spend time there. Instead you roam the halls in-between training and lab work. You discover just how big the ship is, peaking into rooms and riding up and down the elevators.

It’s two weeks after the mission that Hux appears at your door just as your leaving for the training deck. You had seen him around on your escapades but hadn’t spoken to him since before the mission. He greets you like it isn’t weird for him to be standing at your room.

“How can I help you General?” You say when he doesn’t offer an explanation.

He gestures for you to follow him, going the route to the training floor, a walk you two had done many times before. You look up at him expectantly.

“I have a request.” He doesn’t look at you, just stares straight ahead as he speaks.

“A request?” Slowly your stride begins to slow in an attempt to take control of the situation. He stays silent for a few yards and it isn’t until you near the elevator that he finally speaks again.

“I would like your company for dinner tonight.”

You stop short, looking around the hall to see if anyone had heard.

Hux was inviting _you_ to dinner?

You think back to every conversation you had with the ginger man, trying to find some clue as to why he would be asking you to dinner. You come to nothing. He stops a few feet ahead of you and turns to see you staring at him in shock.

“I’m sorry… _what?_ ”

“Lieutenant, I don’t believe I stuttered.” He raises a haughty brow and presses the call button for the elevator.

This time it’s you that stays quiet, not replying until your both on the elevator and riding to the training floor.

“General…I think you might have gotten some mixed signals. I’m not—”

His head swings toward you and his face is full of disgust. “Oh lord no, I’m not asking you out on a _date_.”

You lean against the metal wall of the elevator with a sigh thanking whatever entity was up that you didn’t have to deal with such an awkward situation.

“I’m asking you to my quarters to discuss something of a private matter.” He continues. Your previous relief is shattered at his words.

_Private matter?_

What the hell kind of private matter would you be privy too on this ship?

“General I don’t understand.”

The redhead stays silent for a few moments before the door dings and you’ve arrived at your destination. Before you can step out, he holds his arm out to block you.

He replies in hush tones: “The matter is to do with your imprisonment, but I would rather speak of this in a more _private_ setting.” He pointedly looks at the camera directly outside of the elevator in the hall.

You slowly nod your understanding and step around his arm onto the floor.

“Okay, just send me the time and I’ll be there.” And with that you turn towards the stairwell to begin your training sessions with the Knights. You can hear the elevator doors close behind you and the slight gust of air that blows towards you from it.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, whether from the impromptu wind or the apparent surveillance you were just reminded of, you don’t know.

* * *

The training session is decent. The Knights recognize that your mind in elsewhere but they leave it alone, allowing you to get lost in your thoughts and deal with it on your own. You’re thankful for the space they give you, not knowing how’d you respond of one of them approached the subject.

You go straight to your room when the session is over, barely saying goodbye before running up the stairs and into the elevator. In your quarters you snatch your datapad from your desk and see a pending message from Hux that reads:

**Lieutenant,**

**The leadership team would like to thank you for your hard work and it would be a pleasure to host you tonight for dinner at 19:00.**

**Attached is a map showing the location of my quarters.**

**-A. Hux**

Confused, you search the message for a code, anything that might reveal why he would send this to you. You open the map but it looks just like all the other maps that are pasted up along the ship. When you’ve done all you can to crack the code, you put the data-pad down in a huff.

If the message wasn’t encrypted, then why did he send it? He already spoke to me in person, invited me to his quarters with _words_.

Unless…

Unless they were watching him, and not just watching him but monitoring his data-pad. You already suspected the higher ups were keeping an eye on you, but why Hux? Why would they be keeping an eye on a commanding officer. Who would even have the right to order that kind of surveillance of a top official in the Order?

The only other people that would have that kind of clearance would be Snoke, but you doubted he was spending his free time keeping tabs on leading officials _he_ hired. 

That only left one person.

Kylo Ren.

* * *

You reach Hux’s quarters early, too anxious about the meeting to wait any longer. You spent the majority of the afternoon mulling over Ren and why he would be tracking one of his commanding officers.

You tried to get work done in the lab but were mostly useless while Benji worked and Max ran around entertaining himself. Benji gave you a few weird looks but left you alone while you sat in silence scanning the same piece of schematics all afternoon.

Knocking on the door, you quietly listened for movement in the cabin before you but could hear nothing coming from it. You go to knock again before you hear footsteps approach you.

“Lieutenant.” A modulated greeting sounds from behind. You spin to face the masked menace that stands before you. He has his hand on his hip, fingers brushing his saber, as if waiting for an attack. You brace yourself before lifting your eyes to meet the blank mask.

“Commander.”

“I assume you’re looking for General Hux?” Kylo relaxes but keeps his hands rested away from my view, his cape draping in front of him.

You turn to see if anyone else is in the hall, hoping to see another human that might walk across and be witness to what Ren might do. You hear a small puff of laughter come from the man in front of you and you look up to meet his eyes—or at least where you think his eyes should be.

For all you know he could be a purple spider-like creature with 8 eyes and fangs that could rip your throat out.

He laughs again, much louder this time.

“I can assure you, I’m not a spider.”

You take a step back, affronted.

“Stay out of my head _freak_.” You pale as soon as the words leave your lips, the anger that filled you quickly dissipated as fast as it came. You take another step back but are met with Hux’s door, the cold from the metal seeping beneath the fabric of your clothes.

His head cocks to the side. It reminds you of the way Maximus cocks his head when you squeak a toy at him, curious and ready to pounce.

_Freak? How bold of you, considering the… **similarity** of our problem. _

The words slip through your brain, his voice commanding. You freeze, staring up at his mask.

_You may call me a freak for being in your head but what do you call yourself when you’re in mine?_

At that moment you hear footsteps approach and you both turn to see two troopers walking down the corridor. They slow their stride when they see you, clearly deciding whether or not to continue on their path.

Kylo is the first to speak. “Is there something you need?”

The two quickly sputter their apologies and move on quickly. Ren’s eyes don’t leave them until they’re out of sight. He looks down at you once more.

“I’m sure we’ll meet again Lieutenant. Enjoy your dinner.” And with that he strides off, his cape swaying behind him.

Minutes later you’re still backed against Hux’s door when you feel it slide away from you and you’re falling backwards into the room. Landing on your back you hiss when the hard floor digs into your shoulder.

“Lieutenant!?”

You look up to see Hux standing above you, his face a mix of confusion and annoyance.

“Is there a reason you’re loitering at my door like a lost puppy?”

You don’t answer his question, instead sitting up and rubbing at your bruised tailbone.

“Where were you? I’ve been waiting _forever_.”

“The restroom if you must know. Our meeting wasn’t scheduled until 19:00, why were you here so early?”

You stand up and walk past him further into his quarters, avoiding his question. The space was larger than yours, with a small living room in the center. A kitchen and dining room combo was to the right of the door and a hallway to your left led to what you assumed was his bedroom and bathroom.

“Nice place.” You say over your shoulder as you examine the books that fill his bookshelf. You hear his sigh and move towards the kitchen. Cabinets are opened and plates rattle as he takes them and sets them on the small round table.

You turn to see him serving food from a deep dish, it looked to be a casserole of some sorts. Whatever it was, it looked much better than the slop they fed you from the mess hall.

“Did you make that?” You say as you approach the table and take a seat. He puts the pan back in the kitchen, you see him fiddle with a small device on the counter before coming back with utensils and two glasses for the wine that sits on the table.

“I did. Cooking is a calm pastime I take pleasure in.”

The two of you sit in silence and eat for a while. Once your finished and downing your 2nd glass of wine you lean back in your chair and speak, the alcohol giving you a buzz of confidence.

“Kylo was here.”

Hux drops his fork, it lands with a clatter against the plate.

“Excuse me?”

“Kylo Ren, he was here. Earlier, before you opened the door.” You take another swig of wine, it’s warmth sliding down your chest. “They’re tracking you, aren’t they?”

He stays quiet for a moment, staring at the food in front of him. “I suspected.” Is all he says before he reaches for his wine, needing liquid encouragement just as much as I did.

You could see the stress that settled between his eyes, the tightening of his temples and the strain of his brows.

“Why is he keeping tabs on you.”

He shakes his head after another sip. “I’m not sure yet.”

Setting the glass down, he looks up at you intently. “Did you tell him anything?”

“Like what? You didn’t give me anything to tell. All I know is exactly what the message said, I’m here for dinner.”

His shoulders relax slightly, and he begins to eat again. I watch him and consider my next words, needing to know more.

“So…what am I doing here Hux? Why did you invite me over?” He puts his fork down, having taken his final bite. You wait for him to swallow before raising your eyebrow to encourage him to answer.

“I need your word Lieutenant. Your word that everything that is said here remains between us.”

You scoff at him. “Who the hell would I even—”

“I mean it Lieutenant, _nobody_. Not even your friend.”

You narrow your eyes but don’t answer, instead pulling the wine for another glass.

“If anybody knows anything, both you, I, and anyone else who knows is dead.”

The glass that is lifted to your lips pauses. You stare at him in silence before quietly. “Why are you telling me then?”

He looks away and then back. The stress that lines his faces and shoulders is palpable.

“Do you know what the Force is?”

“The force?” You search your brain for anything that might ring a bell. “I heard fairytales when I was younger. Stories of beings with powers that allowed them to move and manipulate things with their minds…but those were just children’s stories.”

Hux shakes his head, his face dark. “Unfortunately, those aren’t stories.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighs and begins to tell you everything he knows about the Force. The history of its existence and how beings with it had previously been trained by a master Jedi named Luke Skywalker, but then something had happened that put an end to it.

At this part Hux becomes vague and dismissive of your questions, clearly uncomfortable with revealing what happened. He ends it by informing you that Kylo is one of these beings.

“Okay so…what does this have to do with me?” You ask.

He stares at a point above your shoulder, avoiding eye contact when he replies. “Supreme Leader believes you to be an important piece to Ren’s mastery of the Force. The key to him becoming Sith.”

Now the Sith you’d hear rumors of. A group of evil beings hell-bent on destruction. What was previously thought to be a wives tale has turned out to be the cold truth. You put your glass down, the comfortable buzz you had slowly slipping away. 

“How the hell would I help Kylo become a Sith?”

Your mind fills with how’s and why’s, your hand clenched around desperate curiosity. You could feel something bubbling up in your chest, filling your lungs with black tar and inky residue. For a split second you might’ve called it fear but…

You weren’t fearful of the words that had left Hux’s mouth. No…you were curious. Intrigued.

And that’s what terrified you the most. 

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to update this at least once a week!


End file.
